Cruising For A Bruising
by she's-writing-that
Summary: The titans take a cruise to Hawaii. 'Nuff said. Pairings are going to be unlimited, 'cept I won't do slashyuri. It's not just my thing. ;D R&R If you want to
1. Dunananana

Ok hi it's Tanya!  
  
I've decided to take a break from all the serious writing I've been doing so far and decided to write a comedy, ha-ha.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, Terra would have been more like the Terra in the comics and died a more horrible death. So anywhos, I had this idea when I was on a RPing board with a crazy friend of mine... AND there is ONE Mary-Sue in this story, and don't worry about it, she's not going to be in the story a lot, she's just there to annoy the hell out of the titans, and you. Doesn't this sound fun?!

The ages are totally up to you, put them up to any age you would seem fit for some of the situations they are going to be in.

Cruising For A Bruising

Raven grumbled, continuing to sit on her luggage. She was getting impatient, and people continued to give her weird looks. Her eye twitched a little bit when a bunch of obnoxious five year olds ran past her giggling like idiots while the parents were following them chuckling and saying, 'Those kids, those kids.'

'I'm never going to have children,' Raven thought, watching the parents continue to follow the hyperactive kids. She sighed and stared at the large cruise boat that she and the team would board, as soon as they got back from getting their snacks. Raven couldn't believe that they had talked her into this, but since the city was being watched over by some other superheroes for the time being, it seemed all right.

Raven continued to stare at the boat when Beastboy snuck up behind her. He raised his arms and was about to scream in her ear to try and scare her. "...Don't even think about it," Raven said, foiling Beastboy's plan.

"Aw, party pooper!" he whined, dragging his luggage, which was a lot more than Raven's, in front of her. He sat on them and smiled, looking at his teammate. "It's about time we get a little relaxing time, and what better place to do it then on a cruise to Hawaii!" BB said excitedly. He then got up in Raven's face and asked, "Don'tcha think?"

"I think that if you don't get out of my face I will be forced to do something that I don't want to do," Raven threatened, although with a monotone voice.

"Ooh, I'm so scared Rae, what are you going to do?" BB grinned, having absolutely no doubt in his mind that she wouldn't hurt him.

Raven looked towards his bag and they started levitating in the air. BB didn't care and just continued to be only a couple of inches from her face. "I will scatter all your underwear for everyone to see."

BB's silly expression dropped and he looked at her seriously. "You wouldn't dare," he said. "You want to try me?" Raven inquired while continuing to levitate the bags. BB glared at her and slowly backed away. Raven dropped the bags and he walked over to them, sitting on them again. "This isn't over, Raven."

"FRIENDS!" a familiar voice could have been heard even through the hustle and bustle of the crowd. Starfire got lost in the crowd of people with her bags right behind her. "Friends?! I had gone to get refreshments and I have lost Robin and Cyborg!" she yelled out, a confused look on her face.

"Star, over here!" Beastboy yelled out, waving his hands frantically trying to get the girl's attention. Starfire spotted him and smiled, picking up her bags and floating over to them, which caught a couple of tourists' attentions.

"Aw dude, she's wearing shorts!" one obnoxious guy said in the crowd. Raven and Beastboy gave the punk dirty looks while Starfire paid no heed to the pervert and when she floated over him, Raven caused one of her large heavy bags to drop onto his head.

"Ow!" the pervert man shouted out. "I apologize, I do not know what came over my luggage," Starfire said apologetically, picking up the large and heavy bag off of him and floated over to BB and Raven.

"Hello, friends! Shall we search for Robin and Cyborg now?" Starfire asked hopefully. "I'll find them!" BB said, turning into a search dog and starting to sniff around. Raven looked at him and said, "You need something of theirs to smell before you can start sniffing around."

BB turned back into his usual self and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, yeah."

"Hey guys!"

The three titans turned around to see Robin and Cyborg walking towards them. Robin was drinking a soda and dragging his bag while Cyborg had on the niftiest movie-star looking sunglasses you could find, that said on one side, 'Board the...' and on the other side, said, 'S.S. Sexy.' He was also carrying his bag. "Friend Robin, friend Cyborg, I had feared that you have gotten lost!" Starfire exclaimed. Robin chuckled, "Don't worry about me, Star."

BB's jaw dropped when he saw the sunglasses. "DUDE! THOSE ARE SO KICKA-"he got interrupted from a large horn coming from the boat. "Guess we came just in time," Cyborg said happily, stretching his arms and whacking Robin on the side. He rubbed his head, irritated and shoved him a little.

"Now's not the time to start a stupid fight," Raven said dully, picking up her luggage and boarding the ship, BB right behind her. Starfire, smiling the whole time, followed BB while Cyborg and Robin followed her.

(a/n: Mary-Sue time.)

A girl walked right behind Robin and Cyborg wearing a maid's outfit that barely covered her. 'Ugh, I hate this job!' She thought and sighed, 'Well at least my outfit is cool!' Her name was Keisha. She had perfect hair, perfect teeth, and was the perfect slut. 'Hmm,' she thought, looking over the titans before her. 'The one in the mask is cute,' she thought, and then looked over BB, 'Wow, he's hot!'

"THAT'S SOO RAVEEEN, IT'S THE FUUTURE I CAN SEEE, THAT'S SO RAVEEEEN, IT'S SOO MYSTERIOUS TO MEEEE!" BB started singing right in Raven's ear. Raven suddenly got a migraine, Starfire giggled, Robin shook his head, and Cyborg laughed.

Though, Keisha was jealous a little bit. THEN, Keisha got even MORE jealous as BB started leeching onto 'Raven's' arm. "Come on Raven, sing the rest!" he said happily. "Beastboy, get off my arm," Raven said resisting the urge to kick him where the sun doesn't shine.

Keisha walked up in front of the group and said quite loudly, "Hi, my name is Keisha, welcome to your cruise to beautiful Hawaii! I'll show you to your rooms!"

Raven, who still had BB clung to her arm, said, "Funny, it looks like you'd be the one to clean our rooms."

"Oh do not be mean Raven, she may have an outfit such as a glorfagit medellin, but it does not mean she cleans," Starfire said, looking at Keisha apologetically.

"Yo dude, what's a glorfagitit medillin?" Cyborg whispered to Robin, since he knew that Robin was trying to learn and speak Tamarean. Robin thought for a moment and whispered back, "It either means good friend, or whore, and maid."

"...Nevermind, it means whore maid."

Keisha kept her smile, which caught the attention of some boys behind her and they whistled at her. Beastboy who STILL hadn't let go of Raven's hand said blankly, "You're popular."

"Oh, stop it!" Keisha said, turning red. "No I'm not popular, really, I don't know why they're doing that!" Beastboy smiled back and let go of Raven's arm, finally, extending his hand to Keisha's. "My name's Boy-Er, Beastboy."

Keisha grinned and shook his hand enthusiastically still blushing. "I hope you enjoy your stay here Mr. Beastboy," she smiled, not taking her eyes off of his. Beastboy and Keisha stared into each other's eyes for a long time.

Raven rolled her eyes and looked at her card key. Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg followed. They all took out their card keys and looked at the room numbers also while Keisha and Beastboy still stared into each others eyes like idiots. Keisha was so fascinated by his eyes, and Beastboy was just thinking, 'I wonder if there's something on my face that's making her stare at me like this?'

Even as they all got into the hallways, including Beastboy, who had Keisha walking with him the whole way, they continued to look at their keycards. Cyborg peered over Robin and Starfire's keycard, suddenly taking a double take at them.

"How come you guys have the same room?"

&&

A/N. Chpt1 finished. Duh...


	2. A short chapter :o

RAH. HEY EVERYONE, LIKE HOW DO YOU DO?

-Robin, Beastboy, Raven, and Cyborg rush past the authoress, yelling out, "STARFIRE'S COOKING! STARFIRE'S COOKING!"-

...Anyways, as I was saying. The disclaimer is that I don't own Teen Titans, blah, blah, blah, yeah, I'll just get on with the story then.

&&

Beastboy and Raven looked up at Cyborg, hearing his last statement. "Same room...?" Raven asked, feigning a little bit of interest. Robin suddenly flushed the deepest shade of red, while Starfire on the other hand had a confused look on her face.

"Lemme see!" Beastboy shouted, suddenly popping behind Starfire and taking her keycard. He popped up behind Robin and was about to steal his, but the boy wonder was too fast for him and hid it behind his back. "Heh-Heh, Cyborg, you probably just saw it wrong," Robin said nervously.

"Hahaha yeah right! This is why you were so eager in booking the rooms!" Cyborg said, laughing. "...Pervert," Raven muttered under her breath. Beastboy shoved the keycard in Raven's face. "Look!" he shouted. "It's not just a regular room, it's the HONEYMOON SUITE!"

Cyborg tried to keep his laughter in, but to of no avail. He was cracking up on the ground, holding his stomach since it started hurting. Keisha smiled and said, "Yes, the honeymoon suite..." she sighed dreamily wishing that her and Beastboy stayed in the honeymoon suite together. (Blegh). Robin stood there, absolutely fuming while Starfire STILL had the confused look on her face. She asked, "What is the difference between... honeymoon suite and regular room?"

Raven raised an eyebrow, taking the keycard that Beastboy still had shoved into her face and examining it. "Room 24H. Let me see your card Robin." Robin gritted his teeth, and said firmly, "Starfire and I do NOT have the same room!"

Beastboy gave a little crooked smile, which had widened when he remembered he had a pamphlet about the activities of the cruise in his pocket still. He took it out and looked through it. "AHAHAH!" he said, pointing at a certain section in the pamphlet. "DUDE, CYBORG! The honeymoon suite comes with a vibrating bed and a hot tub!"

Cyborg ran up to Beastboy, looking at the pamphlet. His jaw dropped when he read it and started cracking up yet again. Robin whacked Beastboy and Cyborg hard on the side of his head. "WE. DON'T. HAVE. THE. SAME. ROOM!"

Raven rolled her eyes, muttering. "Azarath, metrion, zenthos." Robin's keycard whizzed out of his hand and into Raven's. Robin didn't even notice this, and was too late to react as Raven looked at the card!

"Room 24H," she said.

"AAACK! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" Cyborg yelled, snatching the card out of Raven's hands. The half demon crossed her arms, as if saying, 'That is so enough.' Robin made an 'EEP!' sound and lunged for the card, but the robot man dodged it easily, and instead Robin ended up tackling Starfire to the ground.

"Woo, Robin, a little HASTY now huh?" Beastboy said, leaning against the wall. "Can't you wait until you get into your room, at least?"

"Starfire, I'm so sorry!" Robin said, still on top of her. Starfire grunted and smiled weakly, sitting up straight. "It is all right Robin," she said, giving a look to Beastboy. A few seconds passed. "...Robin, you may get off of me now," she said, sweatdropping. BB coughed loudly while it took Robin a few more seconds to see what the hell he was still doing, and when he finally did he quickly stood up, rubbing the back of his head. "Ahaha... sorry..." he muttered.

"Where's the machine guy?" Keisha spoke up in all her little sluttiness.

Down the hall, you could hear Cyborg scream, "DUUUUUUUUDE!"

In a flash, all of the titans were in the place that Cyborg had yelled in. They were all to busy to notice that he had left (with Robin's keycard) and went off to see the room himself.

Beastboy's eyes widened when he was in the room as he looked around. It was a large room, with a large bed that had silk bedsheets. A couple of remotes lay by the bed, and Raven picked one up, examining it. A large button on the remote that she picked up said in big, red letters: VIBRATE. She made a disgusted face and shook her head fiercely, throwing the remote back onto the bed. Robin's face was red you could have mistook him for a tomato with a costume.

Starfire looked around the room, walking over to the TV. She looked at a couple of tapes next to the television and grinned. "Oh look, video tapes!" She said, picking one up. BB rushed over to her, and looked at the tape label. "How to best please your lover!" he yelled, taking the video tape away from her and waving it around wildly. "HAHAHA!"

Cyborg was currently in the bathroom, digging through the cabinets. Raven casually strolled into the bathroom while Robin was busy trying to get the tape away from BB. Starfire shook her head and also walked into the bathroom. It was yet another large room, with a heart shaped Jacuzzi and a large bathtub and shower.

Cyborg picked out a box in the medicine cabinet and took something out. Raven was too busy looking around to see what Cyborg was doing, and paid no attention to him until he spoke up.

"What the hell?" he said, unwrapping something and pulling it out of the wrapper. "These are funny shaped balloons..." he commented, trying to blow one up. Raven froze in place, turning around slowly. "Uh, Cyborg..." she started, looking at him as he tied up what he blew up. "What?" he asked, throwing the thing up into the air and hitting it over to Starfire.

"...Those aren't balloons..."

&&

Hooooly cow. That is an EXTREMELY short chapter. I'm sorry guys. /


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